This Blog Is Officially Shut Down Due To Lack of Interest.....

...mine

Lewis Avoids The Death Penalty

"Lewis The Cat" is quite the local icon, making national news for kicking the crap out of people. Apparently this huge cat has a real snarly attitude and chases his neighbours down the street. His owner has been put on probation, ordered to perform community hours, and ordered to keep Lewis inside...PERMANENTLY. My favorite part of the story is when they mention that Lewis has attacked a half dozen neighbours as well as "Ambushed the Avon lady".

Hahahahaha.... dumb cat.

Many Thanks To The Hurricanes and The Men of Oil

For those of you who missed it, the NHL just completed it's season for 2005/2006 with a series that will be remembered for a loooong time. The Carolina Hurricanes and Edmonton Oilers actually had the people talking down here in the USA (aka Hockey Oblivion). Guys were coming up to me at work and ranting and raving about the previous nights game and how they spent most of the game sitting on edge of their seats. Even Julie, who is a Canuck fan by default and therefore doesn't get to experience what a run deep into the playoffs is all about, was amazed at the energy level throughout all the series. She mentioned one night she was getting tired just from watching the game... especially the games that went into O.T. where everything was on the line. Back and forth, up and down, chance after chance, hit after hit, night after night. At the end of two months there are no winners or losers, just survivors.

As much as I wanted Edmonton to win it, I wasn't too upset that Carolina ended up with the mug. They have a good team full of good guys that were willing to pay the price to get the job done. Certain guys I was extra happy for... such as Bret Hedican. Poor Bret, he was on the Canucks '94 team that lost in game 7 to New(fuckyou)York, and then he was on the 2002 Carolina team that lost in 5 games to Detroit, so third time lucky for him. Bret, an American, has always been a good ambassador for hockey in the United States. So many American teams have embarrassed themselves on the international stage with their whining, bitching, complaining, and all out arrogance with the likes of Mike Modano, Chris Chelios, Brett Hull, Kieth Tkachuk, and Jeremy Roenick. Bret has always been the even keel, mild mannered guy who took everything in stride so it's great to see him finally rewarded.

Rod Brind'amour. Here's a guy I felt bad for in the late 90's because he was part of a major franchise on the verge of winning it all in Philly, just to be shipped out to the hockey abyss known as Carolina. Carolina?? At the time of the trade the team was a joke and I honestly never imagined hockey surviving in the state best known for stock car racing. I figured the only way this franchise was going to be viable was to draft a top line of Dale Earnhardt, Richard Petty and Mario Andretti. Many players were unhappy playing here, obviously, but Rod stuck to his guns and played his ass off to near empty arenas year after year helping to turn the team around and to give it an identity. Soon, the rebuilding process started to grow, they moved into a brand new rink closer to the population, and people were starting to notice this team is for real. It was awesome to see Rod hoist that cup over his head, nobody can honestly say he didn't deserve it.

I hope one day I can watch my beloved Canucks make that trip to the finals again, perhaps with the recent trade of Bertuzzi for arguably the best goalie in the league, we'll turn things around.

Go Canucks Go.

U.S. Beefs Up Their Border Patrols

Kicking The Dead Horse One More Time

Eastern Conference Final, Game 7 between two hard hitting, fast skating, and all-out gutsy teams and no where to be found on T.V. last night. However, I was able to watch nation wide coverage of some little pukes competing in a Spelling Bee???? WHAT......THE.......FUCK????!!!!

That is all. Thank you, I feel better.

Lake Winfield

This is the local lake about 2 miles from our house. It has a nice gravel path all the way around and is a good spot to go fishing. It looks beautiful this time of year..... just thought I'd share. :)

How To Destroy Your Career in Under 30 Seconds.

Click Here to find out how.

In other news, tell me if this makes sense. It was recently reported that Americans are 42% more likely to suffer from things like diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis. The Harvard researchers came to this conclusion after interviewing roughly 8600 people over the phone. 5100 people interviewed were American and 3500 were Canadian....or in other words, there was roughly 45% more Americans polled. Well if you interview 45% MORE Americans than Canadians... of COURSE it's going to look like there's 42% more people suffering down here!! What kind of requirements does it take to get into Harvard anyway???

Goodbye May, Hello June!!

Oh wait, there's one more day isn't there? Dammit.

Memorial weekend has officially come and gone now, and the timing of a three day weekend couldn't have come at a better time. I know it's been almost a month since my sister got married but it feels like just now Julie and I have "caught up" with our things to do and rest.

Instead of visiting family or friends we decided to just pack a bag, hit the road, and see where we end up. I love being spontaneous like this, and so does Julie, as long as she knows exactly what's going to happen ahead of time...lol. Julie, the master planner, was really out of her element this weekend but we ended up having a real good time exploring the southern part of Connecticut. We started out heading for Greenwich to take a look around. I've never been there and wanted to see what all the hype was about. We got to see some nice scenery, beautiful neighborhoods with great big gorgeous houses and no vehicle that was worth under $65,000. Money, money, money everywhere! The roads reminded us of our trip to Pennsylvania, the shoreline reminded us of Stanley Park in Vancouver, and the houses reminded us of Newport, Rhode Island. So indirectly, I guess you can say we've been there before! We decided to move on. We headed east along the southern coast and stopped in a few small towns along the way including a drive by of the WWE headquarters in Stamford! I was contemplating pulling over to go kick Vince McMahon's ass but nah, he probably had a few of his wrestling buddies there to back him up ;)

Anyway, we ended up at our usual hiding spot down at the casinos, and as usual we lost our asses in there, and as usual we bitched all the way home the next day.

Good Times :)

So in China there is a baby about to undergo some surgery, to remove one of his arms!! Sick bastards! Well ok, I guess I should have told you he has three arms. Check out the story HERE. This story just brings to mind so many things, if they would only leave him alone.

"And how old are you little boy?"
"I'm THIS many fingers old!!"
"Uhm.... you're 15??"

What's so wrong with having a third arm anyway? I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's at least a 50% improvement. And just think, he could be the world's first person to go undefeated in Rock, Paper, Scissors! If he ever got arrested, how the hell would they cuff him? If he was a wanted fugitive would he be considered REALLY armed and dangerous? Can you name me ONE guy who wouldn't want to be able to watch T.V. while eating a sandwich, drinking a beer, AND flipping channels all at the same time?!?! Mother Nature finally got it right and these butchers... err I mean doctors, are going to ruin it. :(

Today in Sports History. In 1911 Ray Harroun wins the first Indianapolis 500 in 6 hours, 42 minutes and 8 seconds with an average speed of 74.59 mph. Man, I do 80 mph on the way to work and about 90 on the way home. How times have changed.

In 1912 Joe Dawson wins the second Indy 500 in only 6 hours and 21 minutes. Driver Ralph Mulford however is told that in order to collect the 10th place prize money he MUST complete the entire race. It takes him just under 9 hours to do it because he made several stops for fried chicken. The finishing rule was changed the following year.

Hope everybody is doing well. Stay cool, the dog days of summer are upon us!

Stats... and A Little Piece of Jesus

Sports today, among other things, are driven by statistical freaks. I used to hate watching hockey games back home (Oh...memories) and hearing some weird stat that makes you wonder just how much spare time these announcers have during the day. "When the Canucks have a powerplay in the second period of a Tuesday night game in the second week of January they are 4 for 6". Or else, "When Trevor Linden scores a point the Canucks have a record of 8 wins, no losses, and no ties". So what?? Are you saying that if Trevor Linden scores a goal in the first period that the other team should just quit and go home? I agree that history is an important tool to decide how you're going to direct your future but c'mon.... let's not get retarded about this now. It reminds me of when you go to the casino and see the history board at the roulette table, "Oh man, black has come up three times in a row... better bet on red!!"

Baseball has to be THE worst sport when it comes to useless stats, but this one takes the cake. I was watching a baseball game on T.V. late one night (I was trying to fall asleep) and up to bat came Nomar Garciaparra and the announcers were talking about the injuries he's had over the last year or so and his effectiveness in the line-up. "When Nomar plays, the Dodgers have a record of 10 wins and 10 losses. When he is out of the line-up the Dodgers are 9 and 9". Well what the hell was the point of that?? Not only is that stat completely useless and a waste of breath but it proves absolutely nothing except Nomar has no relation to the teams success and/or failure! Think people..... think!

I was day dreaming the other day and I flash backed to November of 2005. A friend of mine had asked me if I would be willing to be the Godfather to his son, and I was honored and accepted the invitation. Not being a man of any type of religion I was quite nervous leading up to the big day, especially when I found out the ceremony would take place during regular Sunday services. So here I'd be in front of the whole congregation trying not to make an ass out of myself which by the way, speaking of stats, I'm currently 0 for a billion. The morning of the big day I was pacing back and forth and ending up skipping breakfast because I didn't want to give myself an upset stomach. Well, I held up quite well for most of the ceremonies that day and learned how they did things. Overall I was impressed at the laid back nature of the group and was glad nobody was really in my face to join the church.... because I HATE pushy religious types. Anyway, we got to the point where there was communion? I think. Anyway, everybody goes up row by row and kneels as a group at the front of the church to accept an offering of bread and grape juice. Apparently, the bread is supposed to represent a piece of Jesus, and the grape juice is supposed to represent his blood. Sounds kind of morbid eh? I'm not sure if I'm explaining this correctly or not but this is how I remember it. Anyway, my friend Derrick and I get back to our seats and wait and watch as row by row the other members of the congregation go up to get their offerings. After all that was done, we had the baptism ceremony and I started to relax... and get hungry. As the Pastor was talking my stomach started to growl, and I mean growl like a pack of angry wolves. Derrick kept looking over at me wondering what the hell was going on and all I could do was laugh. I had the giggles, not good. This went on for another 10 to 15 minutes and I finally leaned over to him and said, "Man, I sure could go for another piece of Jesus!" I lost it. I was tired, relieved I made it through the day, and worst of all, I was hungry. For some reason everything from that point on made me laugh and over the rest of the sermon I slowly deteriorated from slight shame to "ahh screw it, as if I'll be invited back here anyway".

I'm not really sure if there is a God, but I hope if there IS one he has a sense of humor.

Go Get Your Damn Green Card!

Ok, I don't usually follow political issues that much but this one is driving me nuts, especially since yet I again I have to run through the red tape to update my greencard.

I have no problem with immigration, I think it's important for countries to grow and welcome new citizens to society. What I have a problem with is people who aren't satisfied with just moving to a new country in search of a better life but also want their adoptive countries to change how things are done just to cater to them. All I hear on the news is how America is acting racist towards the MILLIONS of illegal immigrants here by asking them to register either as citizens, or permanent residents. You know, I wanted to move to the U.S. as well, and it took time, money and effort to go through the process. It took almost two years to obtain my greencard and the first one only lasts two years, which is why I find myself having to run the gauntlet again for my good friends down at INS.

People think that the illegal immigrants are hard working and positive additions to our population. Well if they are so hard working why don't they apply for their greencards and enter the states legitimately? Why not make their lives easier for themselves by getting this important documentation and then they can live the American dream hassle free! But no, they (for the most part) would rather risk their lives to get inside the boundaries and then cry racism when they the host country won't bend over backwards to help them.

Two very recent stories on my local news prove my point. First, there was a human interest story involving a group of refugees that were saved from their home country and brought to America by church sponsored charity groups. The story started off by one of the fathers telling us how if they hadn't have come to America they would've been shot and killed by now, and that many of their friends and family back home have in fact suffered this fate already. Then they show this guy with a microphone outside holding a neighborhood street rally protesting that the church group (after bringing them to safety and providing them with housing) had "abandoned" them. He even showed us his apartment where he had to find furniture left out on the street, and explained how they weren't offered jobs or enough money to sustain life. Oh I'm sorry Sir, please accept my apology for the mistreatment of you and your family as we drop your pathetic ass back in the middle of your worn torn country! Why can't they understand that everything good they hear about America on the news, radio, and print was not handed to each citizen by the government? The "American Dream" is not some fairy tale concept where people line up to receive handouts for the rest of their lives.... the "American Dream" is all about having the opportunity to work towards personal goals and being rewarded for hard work and being a good person. Sure I can understand these church groups rescuing families from afar and helping immigrants land here and get on their feet but after that... GET TO WORK and get your necessary documentation! Does this seem too hard of a task for you? Would you rather be moving your family through the night and dodging bullets during the day?

The second story involved a roofing business who had dropped off six illegal immigrants at a house to install a new roof, gutters, and siding. One of the guys slipped off the roof of the three story house and fell right on to the patio. His five co-workers tried to give him all the medical treatment they were capable of but all of them refused to call for help. They were afraid to call 911 because none of them were in the country legally and none of them had work permits. So they let their buddy lay there on the concrete suffering! A neighbor who heard the incident and after 30 minutes of noticing no sirens or emergency workers arriving finally called for help herself. The injured worker was sent by helicopter to the nearest hospital where there is a good chance he might not survive and the five others were taken into custody. Man, what a freakin' mess and somewhere caught in the middle of all this is a homeowner with half a roof and no siding on her house. As it turns out the roofing company is a well known a reputable company who had subcontracted the work out to a smaller company, so the owner of the house was mislead as well.

On top of all of this, there is now movement towards having a Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner to be made official. Unbelievable.....