The Most Fun 32 Cents Can Buy.

I was around 16 years old when I was walking through a grocery store parking lot one day and found a piece of paper on the ground. It had been run over a few times and was a bit messed up, but it turned out to be one of those reply cards for a mail order music club. This particular one belonged to some guy named Mr. Singh Daliwal who apparently was a member of "Columbia House" and I'm assuming innocently dropped his card on the ground.

My first thought was to return this card to Mr. Daliwal so he doesn't get sent the "Selection of the Month" and end up buying a CD he doesn't want. After all, I didn't wanting him "Singh-ing" the blues. Hahahahaha, ok that was bad. Anyway, I then came up with a better idea.

I noticed that not only was there a section for a "yes or no" reply for the monthly selection, but there was also about 10 blank spaces to list the numbers of any other CD's you might want to purchase. So I took his reply card home and looked up the 10 most expensive CD's that Columbia House was offering at the time and wrote down their codes.

I figure since it's now almost 12 years after the fact and I still find myself laughing my ass off at that poor sucker.... the 32 cent investment for a stamp to mail it off was well worth it.

They Can't Get Enough Of Me.

Back in my early days of working at Corporate Images I used to work a lot of overtime. In fact, I worked an insane amount of overtime.

This very much pleased "The Taxman" as he reached deep into my pockets every two weeks and helped himself to what he wanted, usually only leaving behind a few bucks for gas and my testicles. Well, when it came to tax time one year I noticed on my statement that the government had helped itself to around ten thousand of my dollars.... which is a lot of money when you're making 12 dollars an hour. I thought I was going to get a huge refund that year so as soon as I got my T4 slip I headed down to H&R Block as fast as the tow truck could tow me. After all that was said and done I was politely told that I now owe the government an additional $65.00.

*snap*

Say what? After working seven days a damn week for almost 6 months while you're stealing 10 grand from me you dare ask for an additional $65.00?? I stood up from the desk and walked out and thought there is NO way I'm putting up with that crap!!

Fast forward three or four years, and four or five notices that I have yet to file my taxes for the last four years and I now owe them bastards $536.00. I know, I'll just run away and move to the States!! :)

Anyway, I decided to file for the first half of 2003 and finish off all my dealings with the Canadian government once and for all. I get my assessment back and apparently I'm owed a refund of $540.00. Awesome, they should just cancel each other out and now I'm a free man again!

I have been waiting about three weeks for a letter from the Can-Feds stating that everything is status quo and sure enough, it arrived today in the mail. They were nice enough to add another set of interest changes on my previous debt balance and they now want an additional $13.69 to clear the account.

I think I'm going to be sick, but before I do that I'm going back to Canada first and start spending my ten grand.

Read Between The Lines

I was washing my hands in a public restroom the other day when I noticed the sign on the mirror that said, "Employees MUST wash their hands before returning to work". Why does it discriminate against the people that work there, why not the customers?

So if you were to read between the lines the sign actually says, "Employees MUST wash their hands before returning to work..... but the rest of you scumbags are welcome to maul everything on the buffet table after picking your nose, wiping your ass and pissing all over your hands."

Think about it.