Killer Hill 1, Brian 0
Julie and I went back to her old stompin' grounds in Massachusetts this weekend and I was introduced to the towns worst kept secret.... Killer Hill.
This is a hill inside the local golf course that during the winter months provides a great place to go sledding. The view point from the bottom looks pretty intimidating and the kids who use inner tubes get going pretty fast. Some of them even make all the way back to the small fence they had to install next to the road. So we decided to tackle Killer Hill and see what kind of damage we could do.
There was about 7 of us that started the day staring at old glory, reminiscing about how they used to conquer this hill for hours on end. Oh how times have changed. I thought I'd better sit out the first round and just watch "the pro's" show me how it's done. My sister-in-law Tina was first to come down riding shotgun in her niece's sled, they ended up going down the other side of the hill and we quickly lost site of them..... although we had no troubles hearing them. Julie was next coming straight down the hill and disappearing in a cloud of snow and confusion. My Mother-in-law was next and she flew down the hill on an inner tube and ended up on the other side of the park.
So now it was my turn. I climbed to the top of this hill, looked down, and said the famous last words that many stuntpeople will always be remembered for, "it's not that far. I can totally make that!" I swung the tube behind me and planted my ass dead center and sat down on the hill. Taking a few precious last moments to wonder what my obituary would look like I pushed off and down I went. "Hey, this isn't so bad" I thought to myself. Just then I started to spin and ended up going backwards down the hill. I knew I was screwed at this point because the 6 foot 2 frame I possess doesn't fit too well in this child sized inner tube and I was picking up speed very quickly. All I remember happening beyond this point was the classic figure skating maneuver called the "Ass Over Tea-kettle" as I tumbled down the slope in an avalanche of humiliation. I eventually came to a quiet stop and after a quick check realized that I was still able to feel all my limbs. Phew! Then the voices started filtering in through all the bells ringing and birdies singing. "Holy crap are you Ok?!" "Brian are you hurt??" and "Oh my God!!" could be heard right before the, "Hahahahaha I GOT THAT ON VIDEO!!!"
Sweet. My Sister-in-law Lisa had brought her video camera along and just happened to catch all that on film. Great, just great. Everybody gathered around Lisa and her camera at the bottom of the hill so she could replay it for them and to tell the truth, after watching it as it unfolded even I was scared for my safety...lol. It was quite a spectacular event to see. The worst part was as I was sliding backwards down the hill I hit a bump and ended up falling on my head and actually slid on my neck and upper back with my feet and legs above me in a spread eagle formation (I was trying to get extra points on the dismount). I think Tina said it best when she said, "you looked like that guy they use as the Cingular Cellphone mascot!"
Next year I vow to bring a man sized inner tube to that damn hill and I shall conquer it I tell ya! Even if it kills me.
This is a hill inside the local golf course that during the winter months provides a great place to go sledding. The view point from the bottom looks pretty intimidating and the kids who use inner tubes get going pretty fast. Some of them even make all the way back to the small fence they had to install next to the road. So we decided to tackle Killer Hill and see what kind of damage we could do.
There was about 7 of us that started the day staring at old glory, reminiscing about how they used to conquer this hill for hours on end. Oh how times have changed. I thought I'd better sit out the first round and just watch "the pro's" show me how it's done. My sister-in-law Tina was first to come down riding shotgun in her niece's sled, they ended up going down the other side of the hill and we quickly lost site of them..... although we had no troubles hearing them. Julie was next coming straight down the hill and disappearing in a cloud of snow and confusion. My Mother-in-law was next and she flew down the hill on an inner tube and ended up on the other side of the park.
So now it was my turn. I climbed to the top of this hill, looked down, and said the famous last words that many stuntpeople will always be remembered for, "it's not that far. I can totally make that!" I swung the tube behind me and planted my ass dead center and sat down on the hill. Taking a few precious last moments to wonder what my obituary would look like I pushed off and down I went. "Hey, this isn't so bad" I thought to myself. Just then I started to spin and ended up going backwards down the hill. I knew I was screwed at this point because the 6 foot 2 frame I possess doesn't fit too well in this child sized inner tube and I was picking up speed very quickly. All I remember happening beyond this point was the classic figure skating maneuver called the "Ass Over Tea-kettle" as I tumbled down the slope in an avalanche of humiliation. I eventually came to a quiet stop and after a quick check realized that I was still able to feel all my limbs. Phew! Then the voices started filtering in through all the bells ringing and birdies singing. "Holy crap are you Ok?!" "Brian are you hurt??" and "Oh my God!!" could be heard right before the, "Hahahahaha I GOT THAT ON VIDEO!!!"
Sweet. My Sister-in-law Lisa had brought her video camera along and just happened to catch all that on film. Great, just great. Everybody gathered around Lisa and her camera at the bottom of the hill so she could replay it for them and to tell the truth, after watching it as it unfolded even I was scared for my safety...lol. It was quite a spectacular event to see. The worst part was as I was sliding backwards down the hill I hit a bump and ended up falling on my head and actually slid on my neck and upper back with my feet and legs above me in a spread eagle formation (I was trying to get extra points on the dismount). I think Tina said it best when she said, "you looked like that guy they use as the Cingular Cellphone mascot!"
Next year I vow to bring a man sized inner tube to that damn hill and I shall conquer it I tell ya! Even if it kills me.
