The Dangers of Drinking and Driving
I was on my way home from work yesterday, a day consisting of working in the continuing heatwave that the East Coast is experiencing. What a relief it was to climb into my car, crank up the AC, and finally sit down after standing all day on a cement floor.
As I was driving home I realized that I still had my can of cherry flavored Pepsi in my lunchbox, so I reached in and grabbed it. After popping it open I took a fairly big mouthful and then suddenly...
"SNORT*HACK*BELCH*PUKE*SPEW*COUGH*COUGH*COUGH"
I'm not sure what exactly caused this rapid chain of events but all I know is that I suddenly felt a rush of cherry Pepsi spewing through my nose like somebody made me laugh, then with a mouthful of Pepsi I let out a huge belch/cough combo that sent everything into motion. Somehow.... some way.... I was able to spit soda right into my eye causing it to burn and sting. I soon noticed that I was also able to cover both my forearms, the steering wheel, dashboard, rear view mirror, driver side window and door panel, my shirt and pants, the transmission shifter, the passenger seat, and headliner. It was in fact.... a cola Hiroshima.
Since I'm in a spot where I really can't pull over I just keep driving with one eye firmly closed and mumbling like Popeye while looking for the nearest gas station. I am mildly pissed at this point as things continue to drip. I finally get to a station that I see offers a window squeegee and paper towels and spend the next 15 minutes trying to soak up all this cola while noticing that my arms are sticky as hell....and that I'm starting to attract bees.
They say that Pepsi is the "choice of the next generation", man, what a scary thought, eh?
As I was driving home I realized that I still had my can of cherry flavored Pepsi in my lunchbox, so I reached in and grabbed it. After popping it open I took a fairly big mouthful and then suddenly...
"SNORT*HACK*BELCH*PUKE*SPEW*COUGH*COUGH*COUGH"
I'm not sure what exactly caused this rapid chain of events but all I know is that I suddenly felt a rush of cherry Pepsi spewing through my nose like somebody made me laugh, then with a mouthful of Pepsi I let out a huge belch/cough combo that sent everything into motion. Somehow.... some way.... I was able to spit soda right into my eye causing it to burn and sting. I soon noticed that I was also able to cover both my forearms, the steering wheel, dashboard, rear view mirror, driver side window and door panel, my shirt and pants, the transmission shifter, the passenger seat, and headliner. It was in fact.... a cola Hiroshima.
Since I'm in a spot where I really can't pull over I just keep driving with one eye firmly closed and mumbling like Popeye while looking for the nearest gas station. I am mildly pissed at this point as things continue to drip. I finally get to a station that I see offers a window squeegee and paper towels and spend the next 15 minutes trying to soak up all this cola while noticing that my arms are sticky as hell....and that I'm starting to attract bees.
They say that Pepsi is the "choice of the next generation", man, what a scary thought, eh?
5 Comments:
hahaha!! I`m sorry, but that`s FUNNY!!! I`m glad that you didn`t get into an accident tho ... that could have happened with your little fit you had. I`m glad it wasn`t me tho. haha!!
totally a "Dunn" sitch.
jeez!....what a dorky thing to happen!.....that cola must have gone down your windpipe....and your body totally rejected it....like Mt. Vesuvius.....ha!
(that must have hurt)
Mom
Hey let's get some new material here!
Umm....HELLO? Last post was Aug 9, 2005...you writing this thing or what??? It is now....2am, Wed, Nov 2nd.....
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