Dear America: Advice From A Canadian
Recently the American government released a brand new version of the $20 bill. Now, when I first heard this the first thought that crossed my mind was 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'.
This is my plea to the American decision makers to just stop this... stop this at once! Back in Canada we had the government introduce all these new fancy bills and it does nothing but cause headaches everywhere you go. As if the Canadian currency wasn't mocked enough already because of it's many different colors but then they decided to change the bills altogether. The coins were quick to follow and were shortly being stamped with new designs as well. I have no idea how many different quarters we have in circulation back home but it must be in the dozens.
I don't understand the need for these changes and I see nothing but a big waste of tax payers money and frustration from 'average Joe'. I'm not even going to try and figure out the thought process of the Canadian government but I honestly thought the Americans would know better. Here they have one of histories most recognizable symbols under their control and they go and mess around with it. Seriously, even in the poorest of countries and the most foreign regions of the planet what symbols are you going to find that most people know and understand? The golden arches, coca cola, and to a lesser extent the Nike swoosh are great examples of things that generations of families from all corners of the globe would likely be able to recognize. How about the American dollar? Is this not the one currency that is most recognized in the world? Is this not what other countries use as a guide when doing foreign exchanges, to be used sort of like a measuring stick? Everybody eventually converts everything into American dollars so the value of goods can accurately be calculated. The American dollar is strong, mighty, and represents all that is great and free about the USA and yet, now the government is going to change it? What the hell for?
Let me tell you some of the things that happen when currency is altered... even the slightest. First of all yes, you do generate heart palpitations among the coin trading masses. You know, the kind of people who drive station wagons in order to lug around a copy of every coin ever minted. Very nice son, I'm proud of you and your shiny new nickel now get that crap out of they way, Mom needs to go grocery shopping.
The bad easily out number the good. Before we look into any type of handling problems with this new fancy money you have to realize that the government commissioned some deadbeat artists for design ideas. Guess who gets to foot that bill? That's right, it's us who is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy a sketch of an Inuit stickman putting on a puppet show with the skulls of baby seals. Gee, won't that look good on our currency!
One of the ideas behind this money change is to add security features. The problem that occurs though is that when the money is introduced to the people, nobody is sure of what it really looks like so counterfeiters run crazy for the first couple years. How will cashiers and bankers notice the little details that are slightly off when they are seeing all this for the first time? The old money has been around for so long that any inconsistencies can be caught easier and quicker because people are used to handling the currency everyday.
I remember at work once I was really tired and thirsty so I went to the vending machine with my last four quarters. Ah yes, I spot a nice cold can of Five Alive and start plugging in my quarters. One, Two, Three, Four... ku-chunk. The last quarter falls right through and lands in the coin return window. I pick it up and try again to put in the machine. Ku-chunk. This is the night that I found out that the new fancy currency my government has decided to spend millions on is not accepted by the vending machine. So as I'm licking the condensation off the back of the fridge to quench my thirst I think to myself, man this is really stupid. Imagine being stuck on the side of the highway late at night, having to walk miles to a pay phone just to have your one and only quarter fall through the slot? How ridiculous has the Canadian coins gotten over the years, well let me tell you a story.
Shortly after moving to the States my wife and I went to "The Big E". It's an annual fair that has tons of rides, games, and showcases that attract people from miles away. While walking through the games section we stopped to play a bowling game. For two bucks you get six balls to try and roll into holes of different point value. Well the machine doesn't actually accept the two dollars cash, what you need to do (according to the sign) was pay two dollars for a 'token' and the token is used to start the game. We gave the guy our two dollars and he hands me my token. It turns out to be a Canadian loonie. See? Even the traveling circus doesn't put much value into our currency.
I feel sorry for the American public as reports start to pile in about the new currency. I've already heard of counterfeiting rings producing thousands of these bills. The bills are sticking together at the cash machines so randomly, people are getting multiples of $20 more than they should. How is the bank going to prove who got extra and who didn't? Recently when at a casino I heard lots of complaints because the slot machines won't accept the new bills either.
I now hear that there is a new American nickel in circulation. I hope this isn't a trend of things to come but if it is.... Good luck America.
This is my plea to the American decision makers to just stop this... stop this at once! Back in Canada we had the government introduce all these new fancy bills and it does nothing but cause headaches everywhere you go. As if the Canadian currency wasn't mocked enough already because of it's many different colors but then they decided to change the bills altogether. The coins were quick to follow and were shortly being stamped with new designs as well. I have no idea how many different quarters we have in circulation back home but it must be in the dozens.
I don't understand the need for these changes and I see nothing but a big waste of tax payers money and frustration from 'average Joe'. I'm not even going to try and figure out the thought process of the Canadian government but I honestly thought the Americans would know better. Here they have one of histories most recognizable symbols under their control and they go and mess around with it. Seriously, even in the poorest of countries and the most foreign regions of the planet what symbols are you going to find that most people know and understand? The golden arches, coca cola, and to a lesser extent the Nike swoosh are great examples of things that generations of families from all corners of the globe would likely be able to recognize. How about the American dollar? Is this not the one currency that is most recognized in the world? Is this not what other countries use as a guide when doing foreign exchanges, to be used sort of like a measuring stick? Everybody eventually converts everything into American dollars so the value of goods can accurately be calculated. The American dollar is strong, mighty, and represents all that is great and free about the USA and yet, now the government is going to change it? What the hell for?
Let me tell you some of the things that happen when currency is altered... even the slightest. First of all yes, you do generate heart palpitations among the coin trading masses. You know, the kind of people who drive station wagons in order to lug around a copy of every coin ever minted. Very nice son, I'm proud of you and your shiny new nickel now get that crap out of they way, Mom needs to go grocery shopping.
The bad easily out number the good. Before we look into any type of handling problems with this new fancy money you have to realize that the government commissioned some deadbeat artists for design ideas. Guess who gets to foot that bill? That's right, it's us who is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy a sketch of an Inuit stickman putting on a puppet show with the skulls of baby seals. Gee, won't that look good on our currency!
One of the ideas behind this money change is to add security features. The problem that occurs though is that when the money is introduced to the people, nobody is sure of what it really looks like so counterfeiters run crazy for the first couple years. How will cashiers and bankers notice the little details that are slightly off when they are seeing all this for the first time? The old money has been around for so long that any inconsistencies can be caught easier and quicker because people are used to handling the currency everyday.
I remember at work once I was really tired and thirsty so I went to the vending machine with my last four quarters. Ah yes, I spot a nice cold can of Five Alive and start plugging in my quarters. One, Two, Three, Four... ku-chunk. The last quarter falls right through and lands in the coin return window. I pick it up and try again to put in the machine. Ku-chunk. This is the night that I found out that the new fancy currency my government has decided to spend millions on is not accepted by the vending machine. So as I'm licking the condensation off the back of the fridge to quench my thirst I think to myself, man this is really stupid. Imagine being stuck on the side of the highway late at night, having to walk miles to a pay phone just to have your one and only quarter fall through the slot? How ridiculous has the Canadian coins gotten over the years, well let me tell you a story.
Shortly after moving to the States my wife and I went to "The Big E". It's an annual fair that has tons of rides, games, and showcases that attract people from miles away. While walking through the games section we stopped to play a bowling game. For two bucks you get six balls to try and roll into holes of different point value. Well the machine doesn't actually accept the two dollars cash, what you need to do (according to the sign) was pay two dollars for a 'token' and the token is used to start the game. We gave the guy our two dollars and he hands me my token. It turns out to be a Canadian loonie. See? Even the traveling circus doesn't put much value into our currency.
I feel sorry for the American public as reports start to pile in about the new currency. I've already heard of counterfeiting rings producing thousands of these bills. The bills are sticking together at the cash machines so randomly, people are getting multiples of $20 more than they should. How is the bank going to prove who got extra and who didn't? Recently when at a casino I heard lots of complaints because the slot machines won't accept the new bills either.
I now hear that there is a new American nickel in circulation. I hope this isn't a trend of things to come but if it is.... Good luck America.
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